I am pleased to see that the work week is almost over! I have some really fun things planned for this weekend so I am excited. I am so grateful for the warmer weather and the arrival of Spring. I swear there were times during the winter that I just didn't think I would make it. I really hate to be a downer on a sunny Friday morning but I need to get something off my chest. Most of you know already that my kitty Jasper has been lost now for over two weeks. He has been the only thing that has stuck by my side for the last 5 years. I got him when we was just a few weeks old in 2005 and he has been the light of my life. Seriously...he is all that I have. I had two cats 5 years ago. One of them (Jovan) ran away when I had a terrible break-up and I guess that he thought that he was moving too. I was really upset to loose Jovan and everything else that I knew to be true to me. I am not getting into it now but lets just say the last few years have been tough for me. One thing that was always constant no matter what was Jasper. He stayed even as a little kitten when Jovan took off. He would always be waiting for me when I got home and loved to curl up with me in bed or on the couch. It has been weeks now and I have got to just let go. I have done everything and I mean everything to find my Jasper. I cant stand coming home and seeing his empty bowl. I hate driving up and him not running out to greet me when I get home. I can officially say one thing and one thing only. I have lost everything and I mean EVERYTHING that is or was dear to me. In three years, everything that I once knew is no longer. This is not a pitty party by any means. To be honest I have asked myself over and over again, do I deserve all that has happend to me? In the last two years I have lost my home, almost everything that was in it, my car, my dad, my band, friends, my lover and now my cat. I dont want any e-mails PLEASE, I just want to say it and move on. I REALLY want to be able to move on but darn...just when you think you can smile again something else happens. I sure hope that Susan is right....I am ready to close the book all together and start a new journey. May couldnt get here faster. Honestly, one of the reasons I have just been reviewing products is because I didnt want to write a bad post. This blog should be up lifting and make you happy to read. However, this morning I figured that I should just say what is really on my mind. Afterall, some of you have been with me through it all! I thank you for that. I also wanted to greet the new readers! So sorry that you are just starting to read and have to see me at my worse. I promise after this post I will feel much better. There's nothing like telling thousands of people that you dont know your havin a bad day ;)
If you know me and I mean REALLY know me a few things would automatically come to mind. Of course that I am a exercise/nutrition freak. That I can get obsessed easily with fitness and well being (remember my kombucha factory, "the ultimate meal" craze and lets not forget master cleanse after master cleanse). Some others would include living through my horoscopes, grandma tendencies and the fear of commitment. At least that I can admit these things, except them and move on. The one thing that hopefully would come to mind if you truly knew me was that I practice and believe deeply in the power of positive thinking and visualization. I am trying to be positive and all but I am having some trouble with the thought of not having my fur baby anymore. Sorry to be downer but I am sad. So this morning I wanted to get it off my chest and say what is in my heart. Jasper...you will be missed deeply. I promise never to forget you. I know that some of you will be writing about the time that your cat was gone for two months and then miraculously came home. I am so glad that happened for you but I cant go another day thinking this way. I cant sleep because I feel like he is trapped under the house, I drive by my house several times a day hoping he will appear and leave food and water in multiple locations around the house and yard. I have to allow myself the idea that he is just gone. I have no pictures of him, I only have memories. Thanks for letting me get that out there.
On to breakfast!
Pink lady apple with drippy PB2. Mmmmm. I have been trying my best to break the fast with fruit, pb doesn't hurt either!
After two hours though my stomach started talkin. That's when round two happened.
Fage 0%, mango, pecans, blackberries and blueberries. Oh so good. Then I mixed this little guy in for MORE protein and it was a pre-workout meal. 
Were talkin 30 grams of much needed protein for this little meal! Fast digesting protein before a workout=3.5 miles over in no time. Today is gorgeous and I am going out in it! By the time I get back from the workout my day at work will almost be over and I can start to see the light of the weekend! Since I have been 90% raw these days I am having the usual raw lunch. 
L.O.V.E.As usual I run around the office, do errands, type until my fingers cramp, stare at the clock until it says 4:40 and just cant bare sitting at my desk a minute later.
On the dot, I tell all three of my co workers to get the hell out of here and go enjoy the weekend! They stay until 5:00, I practice what I preach!
4:45- Home, changed and ready for round two. Nope, not an apple. A workout. I know what I have to do to make it happen. I have got to walk straight in the door, strip my clothes off and put on some exercise gear. I don't sit down for a second or it's over.
Seriously. Walk in, change clothes, grab i-pod, out the door.
4 miles later and I am a sweaty mess. What I want and what I need are two different things. What I want:
Ok, maybe this is a little extreme....HA!This would do though:
Ahhhhh, I would fricken die if this was my shower. I would shower 10 times a day if I had this.What I need:
Green Monster in spoonable form. After a protein packed post work out snack it is on to round three, yeah I said it. 30 minutes of yoga and I feel good enough to actually act on what I want. A shower.
It's 7:00 p.m. by this time and it is round 4 now. KIDDING. No way in hell! Listen, 7.5 miles in one day is just fine by me. It's time for dinner and relaxing.
Dinner:
Chicken lettuce wraps and you better believe a glass of wine. Or two ;)
After a long week I deserve a glass of wine (dont think that a glass of wine can be consumed without at least two squares of after dinner dark chocolate). For. Real.
I gotta wake up extra early tomorrow to train so I will need to be in bed fairly early. No worries, I plan on getting some aggression out with the workout from hell Saturday morning. 550 reps, you read right....YOU will be doing 550 reps. Just you wait.
I hope this weekend goes by slow. I need it!
See you sooner than you may think ;)
-Heather
